


A Wife for Kreacher

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2908235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winky is causing too many problems for the other elves at Hogwarts, so she gets sent to 12 Grimmauld Place instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wife for Kreacher

~ A Wife for Kreacher ~

"She's really not working out for us here at Hogwarts," Dumbledore says apologetically, as he attempts to foist the useless house elf off on Harry. "And her drinking bothers the other elves so much that it's become quite disruptive. You would be doing the school a great service by taking her into your home."

_Great,_  Harry thinks sarcastically to himself. _My house is becoming known as the place for house elves that don't want to do any work_. Out loud, he says, "Alright, I guess Winky can come and be my house elf."

That evening, after classes are over, Harry brings the drunken crying mess of an elf to the house that he owns (which is not technically his home), and deposits her unceremoniously in the kitchen.

"This is your home now," he tells Winky sternly. "Try not to be entirely useless, or something..."

The teenage wizard takes a handful of Floo Powder and is about to return to the school when his  _other_  useless house elf creeps into the room.

"Ooh, master brings a wife for Kreacher!"

Harry starts to protest, but ends up staring slack-jawed instead as Kreacher softly strokes Winky's face with one long-fingered hand while repeating, "Pretty wife."

Winky hiccups and looks up at Kreacher with huge watery eyes.

Harry half-expects the female elf to reject poor crazy old Kreacher, but Winky merely vomits upon his feet and then proceeds to pass out cold. Unlike almost every task he has ever been assigned by his new master, Kreacher hurries to clean up this particular mess, and then carries his unconscious companion off to his little elf nest...

* * *

"And it turns out that all they really need was each other," Harry explains. "They were happy and both of them started doing the chores normally again, so the house was clean, and we had good food, and house elf magic apparently is even strong enough to undo a Permanent Sticking Charm..."

"Really?" asks four-year-old Teddy, looking up at his godfather.

"Oh yes, Teddy, even house elves have feelings and they loved each other and had lots of little house elves, and those ones are the ones that take care of our house now, and your grandma Andi's house, and Uncle Ron's house..."

"Noooo," Teddy whines, rolling his eyes. "I meant about undoing a Permanent Sticking Charm. That's not really true, is it? Nothing can undo those."

"Well," Harry replies. "There was a portrait in the hallway that no one liked, and it was stuck there with a Permanent Sticking Charm, but the elves got rid of it  _somehow,_  so they must have been able to undo the charm." Teddy is still giving him a skeptical look, so Harry caves in and prevaricates, "Or maybe they did something else to get it down from the wall or destroyed it without actually taking it off the wall first. I don't know because I wasn't here when it happened. Sirius's old posters are still perma-stuck to the walls of his old bedroom, so I just don't know, buddy... Hey, you know what, let's go down to the kitchen and see what kind of treats the elves have ready for us!"

"Okay!" Teddy agrees so enthusiastically that Harry wonders if that had been the point of the little boy's question in the first place.

_Nahhh, he's just a little kid. Of course he's not that manipulative. Wow, Auror training has made me really suspicious of people's motives_.

~end~


End file.
